I appreciate your bravery. I appreciate your courage. I appreciate your willingness to risk your lives in an honorable demonstration of your power and potential.

You are women of action. I’ve read the writings and heard the voices of a number of women communicating a sense of marginalization. And while they scribble and prattle away, you prepare to swim with sharks.

To get to the island, you’ll be crossing the Santa Barbara Channel, or as some people refer to it, “Shark Park.” Here’s a headline from a few years back:

Shark Surprise: Channel Islands Tourists See Great White Sharks Devouring Whale

But honestly, that was 2013. Let’s try and keep this relevant. How about this headline from 2017:

Man comes face-to-face with a great white shark near Santa Barbara as it chomps on his kayak

I know that each of you has spent countless hours researching and weighing out all of the challenges that lay between you and returning home safely, and that is why I’m so impressed. You knew what you were getting into and you signed up anyway. God bless you.

You’ve prepared yourselves for a long, cold swim because in your research you learned that over 150 ships and aircraft have gone down in the Santa Barbara Channel. In fact whole books have been written on the subject:

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You already know this, but one way to understand why these boats keep sinking is to visualize what’s really happening under the water. The islands are really just the peaks of an undersea mountain range. And you know how mountains are, all lumpy and bumpy. Makes it hard for boatmen to figure out what exactly is underneath them.

And all of those peaks and valleys make the water act funny, too. Things get to churning when the wind blows. And then there’s the fog. It kind of sneaks up on you. The whales do, too. Folks estimate about six whale-ship collisions every year in the channel.

I’ve been across the channel a few times. Depending on conditions, it can take around three hours to cross. Dolphins and whales are pretty common sightings. Of course, you need to come back, so that’s around six total hours of blue horror. Plan your motion sickness medication dosage accordingly (I recommend Bonine). I haven’t been dumped into the briny deep yet, but if that happens to you here are some tips:

Try not to flail around too much. Don’t bleed. Find your buddies and circle up, backs to each other. That way you’ve got your legs out to kick at the hungry buggers. Sister Sama’s flute might come in handy here. I’m not sure how, but I like the idea of a flute playing a role in this scenario. Sister Randa can distract the sharks with her ma’amoul cookies. Sister Dijana has done some diving in the area, so she might know a shortcut to some hidden land mass that will get you off the menu. You’ll figure it out.

Once you make it to the island, you’ll have the deadly hantavirus to contend with. Do your homework, or wait for the next blog post.

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