Nature Conspires

The first time I went to the Channel Islands, it was a bit of a mess.

After the last of the indigenous Chumash were relocated off of the island in the early 1800s and put into the service of the Catholic Missions, Santa Cruz was alone and wild. She played host to fishermen, hunters, and smugglers. With nobody around, it was the perfect place to lay low and hide your loot.


You can still see Smugglers Cove on the map, to the east and just below San Pedro Point. You’ll be camping out by Scorpion Anchorage up north, but you might want to hike out to Smugglers and pretend to be pirates and bootleggers. That’s the best.

To the west and right up against the Nature Conservancy boundary (more on them later!) is Prisoners Harbor, a reference to a moment when Mexico thought it would be a good idea to send convicts over. In the end, about 30 prisoners were dropped off and they did OK with the little ramshackle shelters they pitched against the elements. But after a fire destroyed their camp, they decided to make for the mainland. Which is hysterical.

They somehow threw a raft together. No sails. No oars. Nothing but a hope, a prayer, and sheer badassery. These guys are absolute legends, so of course a storm comes along that literally blows them all the way to the coast. Where they get arrested.

After that, the ranches came in. Sheep, cows, pigs. They completely tore up the island. Ran off the foxes. Totally destroyed the fragile ecology and that went on for like a hundred years. And about twenty years after that, I showed up with my buddies.

As mentioned in a previous post, there was no fresh water and, without the foxes, there were mice everywhere. There were still feral pigs and sheep left over from the ranching days and they continued to wreak havoc on the ecosystem. In the end, something had to be done. That’s when somebody called New Zealand.

Professional hunters from the island nation showed up. They buzzed Santa Cruz in their helicopter, flushing out the pigs and sheep and picking them off with their high-powered rifles. All but one, really smart boy pig.

I heard this story from a ranger. He sat down to have dinner with us and this is what he said:

Try as they might they couldn’t get that old boy pig. Noise wouldn’t scare him out. Food wouldn’t tempt him out. This went on for days. Then someone had an idea.

Girl pig.

And as any bluesman will tell you, that was the end of old boy pig.

Things are much closer now to how they were at the time of the Chumash. There are only four local mammals: the fox, skunk, and a couple different kinds of mice. Well, there are bats, too. You’ll see bats. So five mammals.

But this guy is the main attraction:


Here’s my guess. Coming over on the boat, you’re going to see a lot of people. And many of them will have binoculars. They are not interested in camping. These are birders, and they are looking for one thing: the island scrub jay. Larger than their mainland cousins, these guys can live up to 20 years. They mate for life, they are remarkably intelligent, and they can be found only one place on earth: Santa Cruz Island.

I’ve been to the island three times and I’ve never seen one. But you’re going with Sister Sama and she’s magical and will probably have you all hand-feeding the entire population before you leave.

For a a really fun, full list of animals on the island, click here.

And if you like plants, you should check out this page here.

Of course, you’re only allowed on about 25% of the island. The rest of it is owned by the Nature Conservancy. These guys make me nervous. They’re a non-governmental organization with ties to big business. The current president is the former managing director of Goldman-Sachs. From Wikipedia we learn:

The Nature Conservancy has ties to many large companies, including those in the oil, gas, mining, chemical and agricultural industries. Its board of directors currently includes the retired chairman of Duke Energy, and executives from Merck, HP, Google and several financial industry groups. It also has a Business Council which it describes as a consultative forum that includes Bank of America, BP America, Cargill, Chevron, The Coca-Cola Company, The Dow Chemical Company, Duke Energy, General Mills, Royal Dutch Shell, and Starbucks Coffee Company.

Not exactly an A-list of environmental champions.

Remember that awesome ranger who hung out for dinner? He told us about big-dollar hunting expeditions where the elite were flown in to party on Nature Conservancy property and take game. He named names.

But maybe it’s all noise and rumors. I don’t know what kind of conservation is happening on the other side of Prisoners Harbor, but I do know that Clan #2 is now Clan Zatara! Way to go on the sweet clan name!

It’s not a small thing. A sweet clan name binds you. It’s the beginning of a group identity. It’s the moment where you stop thinking exclusively about yourself and you develop a sense of communal accountability. Unlike Clans 1 and 3 who are completely mired in solipsistic narcissism.


Or maybe not. Comment your sweet clan names below and prove me wrong.

I’m also hearing awesome conditioning stories! Sister Sarah spent the night on her kitchen floor with the windows open. That is so hardcore! And Sister Mona is spending quality time in the local hills familiarizing herself with our plant allies! Sister Aurelia is digging deep into the local fishing regulations. All of it is so inspiring!

You’re going to be on the boat in a week, God willing. Spend the remaining days telling the people around you how much you love them.


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