Dust and Tribe is proud to feature this guest post by Nesrin (@adventuremamaof3), a mother of three who loves the outdoors and spending time with her children. It’s her belief that the best moments are ones you don’t necessarily prepare for.

I’ve always been a dreamer and I’m a sucker for the outdoors, but I always had a fear of venturing out on my own. I was waiting for someone to go with me, someone to be by my side in the hopes they would protect me if the need arose. I felt like I needed a partner for every step of the way.

I had this longing for exploration and this desperation to learn and grow in the wilderness but my fear of going alone was crippling me. It was stopping me from what I knew would be my true happiness.

I had my first daughter in 2012 and after a couple weeks I hit that bad postpartum depression that so many try to prepare you for, but no such preparation exists. I knew that what I was feeling wasn’t me, and I knew I had to get out to find peace, serenity, and happiness. I needed to affirm my appreciation for the many blessings I have and to find a way to draw closer to God.

I hopped into my car and drove three hours from where I live in San Jose to Point Reyes, California. I was alone with my newborn daughter and I cried the whole way as she was sleeping. I didn’t have a plan but I heard it was beautiful there and I needed to be strong and see that beauty and find myself again.

I felt lost. I felt lonely. I felt that I just needed to rely on myself in order to be truly happy.

I arrived about an hour or two before sunset and found a parking lot with a few cars. There were signs marking a trail and I saw a ranger standing nearby. I told the ranger I wanted to do a trail and I wanted to be back by sunset.

I pretended to be confident, like I had done this before, but inside I wasn’t so sure. He told me I picked the perfect spot and that I could start the trail and, “once you get to Divide Meadow you can just turn back.”

I asked him, “How will I know when I get to Divide Meadow?”

“Trust me, you’ll know.”

I smiled, thanked him, and began the trail with a baby strapped to my chest. There were tears in my eyes and prayers on my lips.

I walked and I heard rustling in the trees and I even saw some deer. It was beautiful and quiet and I was taken by the beauty of nature: the sounds of the birds singing, the gentle breezes, the swaying trees, and the rustling grasses filled with little creatures. My daughter had woken just in time for the trail and she was as mesmerized by the views as I was. Seeing her in awe reminded me of all the beautiful things that God Most High has created and how much joy and contentment creation can bring us.

We just need to search out these moments with our full trust in Him.

That thought brought a smile to my face. I knew at that very moment I had to be strong for my daughter. If we got into any trouble on the trail, I would be her protector. I would always be the one she looks up to and admires. Or at least I hope that’s true.

I stood taller and allowed myself to be vulnerable and not let fear overtake my experience at that moment. I walked and walked for what seemed like forever.

I then came to this wide opening that took my breath away.

The clouds were towering above me and I was surrounded by trees in the distance with a huge field of beautiful green grass suddenly before me. All I remember in that moment was collapsing to the ground and having a breakdown and just thanking God over and over again for bringing me to that moment and giving me the health and strength to be able to see and to appreciate and to learn and grow.

The only thought that came to me was, “How can someone not believe in the Oneness of God when surrounded by all this stunning natural beauty?”

I knew in that moment that my love for the outdoors wasn’t a passing fancy. And I had proven to myself that I had the fortitude to approach the outdoors on my own, if I had to.

That hike at Point Reyes forever changed me. I realized, as I had suspected, that a relationship with the wilderness is something that I need, and not just need to be happy. My passion for the natural world is how I stay healthy and strong and it’s how I reaffirm my connection to my religion and to God Most High.

The strength it took for me to take my newborn daughter out alone and find happiness confirmed for me that, with God’s Help, I can do anything. I didn’t need anyone to take me on that hike and it’s my intention to help my children realize that they have the internal resources to pursue their greatest hopes. Spending quality time with my children in the outdoors is something that I truly cherish.

I am now a mother of three and, as challenging as it is at times, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing them have an appreciation for the world around them and a love for God. We draw closer, we are more patient, and we are happier when we are out exploring and spending time in nature.

It takes us back to just focusing on what truly matters.

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