We subscribe to the following premise: self-respect is a prerequisite for self-love.

We’ll come back to this.

First, we need to clarify another of our beliefs, namely that the value of self-love is in the opportunity it creates for an internalized understanding of what love is in all of its dimensions. Until this is fully realized, love cannot be duly expressed to others. And it is not until we’ve learned to love ourselves and others that we can begin to think about love for our Creator.

God is an abstraction for most of us. Falling in love with an abstraction is really just fantasy, and we’ve come to understand fantasy as interesting, but ultimately silly escapism. God is Real, we believe, and not fantasy. All of the harsh brutality that we have come to understand as part and parcel of reality is built into our relationship with God in order to move it from fantasy to Truth. The end result is a relationship with God that is predicated on duty and responsibility and obligation, all executed with the fear of worldly punishment and eternal damnation as imminent possibilities.

All true, of course, but that’s a tough way to live. Even so, a lot of us choose that paradigm because we don’t know what love is and how things like punishment and reward are contextualized through it. It has not been demonstrated to us in a healthy, consistent way, but we don’t want to acknowledge that and throw people we care about under the bus. We continue beating ourselves up, because that’s what you do when you don’t have any respect or love for yourself.

We are also too scared to ask for help. Without self-love, we cannot imagine that there is any compassion to be offered from beyond ourselves.

Back to the premise!

If self-respect is a prerequisite for self-love, we need to address where it comes from. The answer, as all things are, is to be found within Islamic tradition, in particular its emphasis on consistent work. The Muslim is called to pray five times daily, for example. This is considered an essential “pillar” of the faith. In other words, without some effort extended in refining this practice, one’s faith is fundamentally without basis. We’re just kidding ourselves.

Whatever others may cite as the benefits of prayer (there are many), we submit that at its most basic the establishment of regular prayers is a religiously mandated invitation to self-respect. No matter what other nonsense we get up to, we can lean into the possibility of redemption so long as we have evidence that we are in fact redeemable. Our commitment to consistent work (in this case, prayer) is that evidence.

But maybe we’re not even there. Maybe our faith is so shattered that the idea of a God, let alone prayer, is a more a source of distress than comfort. Walking this back, it may also be that someone experiencing this level of existential frustration is also struggling with self-love and self-respect.

Maybe not, but maybe- and if so, here’s how animals can help.

There is a communication barrier that exists between man and animal. Much of animal life is enigmatic and mysterious to us, but there are some areas of overlap. We understand that they are interested in security, food, and some kind of stimulation or social experience. And if we’ve chosen to bring an animal into relationship (almost always our choice), then we assume the responsibilities of making sure those fundamental needs are met.

But they can’t really tell us how we’re doing in our care. Instead, we need to look for signs.

Out here at Camp One we have cats and chickens, goats, and a dog. Their wellbeing depends on our commitment to meeting those aforementioned needs, and any new ones that come up. They must become a priority, otherwise our choice to sleep in means they go hungry. Our choice to travel robs them of protection. Our days and nights are regulated in large part by our adopted responsibilities toward these strange creatures in our midst.

It can be tedious and exhausting, but there are moments that validate all the effort. It could be something as simple as a cat crawling into our lap, rolling over to expose its belly in a vulnerable display of unquestioning trust. It could be a baby goat falling asleep next to us, its vigilance as a prey animal tempered by our presence. It could be a highly-distractible and impulsive dog suddenly walking alongside us with almost no direction at all.

These manifestations of the evolving relationship between us and our animals only comes about through our consistent attendance to their needs. It’s empirical validation that our work has value.

That we have value.

Recognizing the linkage between our work and the blossoming trajectory of the relationship is the beginning of self-respect. No matter what else we screw up, our animals think we are safe.

Though it may take some time, we can start to invest in the behaviors of the animals as a counter-argument to whatever negative self-talk is keeping us from respecting ourselves. Their behavior is changing because we are honoring their needs.

One who honors is honorable.

This recognition has to be there if we can hope to grow in our respect for ourselves. Once convinced, we can look for other areas to similarly invest. Maybe our eating or sleeping habits? Maybe our commitment to exercise? Perhaps those prayers? Now that we’re irrefutably honorable, we may as well look and act the part.

It’s important that we start slow. We started with one cat. Similarly, our self-respect comes about through a modicum of work done consistently. This is life’s project, is it not?

Addicts in recovery sometimes ask about getting into a relationship. The advice often given is to get a plant first. If the plant thrives, get a pet. If the pet thrives, maybe we’re ready to care for another person.

Because that’s really the point. We’re not here to simply fall in love with ourselves. We need to have that experience, but only so that we can give it to others. From there, we can collectively begin to recognize love in all of its colors and forms. The unanswered prayer is not punishment because we are awful. It’s an invitation to learn about patience because without it the beauty that we have discovered within ourselves is fragile indeed.

All is reframed through the crystalline lenses of self-respect and self-love. Where this vision is shared, empathy, compassion, mercy, and benevolence flow between people with such ease that one can no longer accuse God of behaving any different with His creation. It’s impossible.

We are grateful for the gift of animals in our lives.

We strongly encourage bringing one or two little critters into your own.

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